BRAWL 12 By the Numbers: We break down HBK's elbow-dropping antics. 13 Actual Size: Drinking milk from Andre the Giant's leg cast. 14 From the Vault: Sports-entertainment, '90s style. Urban Legends: Macho Man once batted for the White Sox? 15 Moment of Impact: What happens when a giant boot meets your throat? 16 Oh No You Ditn't!: Check out Brutus's beefcakes! May We Speak to Chris Benoit, Please?: Meet the other Chris Benoit, a chiropractor from Plattsburgh, NY. My Three Favorite Matches: Matt Hardy's top picks. 18 What Were You Thinking?: John Cena shares his deep post-WrestleMania 21 thoughts. 20 You Got the Mic: Your letters, arena signs and creepy fan art. 22 Annoying Game-Day Accessories: Get ejected from the big event! GRAPPLERS 24 Randy Orton: discusses frozen excrement. 26 Gene Snitsky: gives Granny an oral pedicure. 27 Matt Striker: manhandles the mentally challenged. 28 Tommy Dreamer: suffers yet another concussion. 30 Carlito: scores some beachfront sushi and goes bowling. 32 Finlay: dines with a wee person. 34 Paul London: blasphemes. 36 "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan: goes shopping, then gets misty-eyed. 38 Trevor Murdoch: chews tobacco and urinates off his front porch. BIG NIGHT 40 Feast and Furious: Products you need to throw the ultimate WWE screening party. 42 Slammin' Oatmeal Raisin Cookies: Lashley's secret recipe. Melina's Hot-Pot Action: The WWE Diva celebrates fondue. 44 Superstar Eating Contest: Snitsky takes on Trevor Murdoch in Round 2 of our Binge Bowl matchup. THE KNOWLEDGE 46 Cash For Questions: Mr. Kennedy fields your eager queries. 48 Genius Advice: Shelton Benjamin brings the wisdom. 50 How To Do Everything: Open a beer anywhere; fight dirty. 52 Divas Uncensored: Melina, Maria and Ashley sound off. 54 The Ultimate Tag Team Quiz: Can you tell the Rockers from Tekno Team 2000? FEATURES 56 Peasant-For-A-Day: King Booker abuses a willing manservant. 62 The Trish Stratus All-Bets-Are-Off Questionnaire: The Diva answers our obnoxious questions, and promises not to slap us. 66 Diary of a Female Fan: She's just like one of your buddies. Only she's a girl. And cute. REVIEWS 72 Games: First looks at Enemy Territory: Quake Wars; also, the greatest video game weapons of all time. 75 Music: New tracks from Stone Sour, the Roots, Outkast; also, Weird Al Yankovic makes peace with Coolio. 76 DVD and Movies: Star Wars Trilogy, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2-Disc Ultimate Edition, plus a preview of Jackass: Number Two. 78 Gadgets: Editors beat the hell out of a Toshiba Gigabeat S, Sony's Alpha 100 and the Belkin TuneTalk. 79 Even More Reviews!: Rocky action figures, the ultimate frat-boy DVD boxed set and a website featuring 1,000 music videos. BODY SHOP 80 Need A Spot?: Kurt Angle delivers the definitive endurance workout. 82 How to Treat a Broken Jaw: Beth Phoenix's sore mouth. 84 Shaving Grace: Vito picks the best razors for guys (and girls). INSIDER 86 Between the Ropes: A month's worth of action, featuring ECW's Philly return and the Spirit Squad's craptacular night. 87 The Sac: Backstage gossip. 88 All Access: Rey Mysterio makes a hit with the Cincinnati Reds. Arena Scout: The Hammerstein Ballroom, MSG's dorky little brother. 89 Fantasy Warfare: Hide the fine china--Umaga hits the mat with George "The Animal" Steele. 90 Beef of the Month: Batista is looking for some payback. Tale of the Tape: Just how many tables did we break this month? 91 Casmo: Fool your girl into watching Raw and SmackDown. 92 Guess the Match: Test your wrestling memory and win a prize. 94 Calendar: See when WWE is coming to your area, and more. 96 What It Feels Like: Edge turns our writer's chest into burger meat.